ExChristianDotNet (exchristian_net) wrote in extian,

[Testimonies of Ex-Christians] I realized that God does not exist

Sent in by KyleHi. My name is Kyle, I live in Austin, and I am a former
devout Christian.I grew up in a semi devout family. By semi, I mean
that my grandparents on both sides were extremely religious, but my
parents were not too religious. I did the whole CCE Church deal on
Wednesdays as a child, and went to Church on Christmas, but that was
about all.However, once I became about 15, I started to study more
about religion. This was my Confirmation year for the Catholic Church,
so I started wondering a bit more about why I was Christian. And, I
ended up becoming extremely devout. Every week I would now go to Church
with my grandparents on my mom's side, and I became extremely
religious. My grandpa on my dad's side is a Protestant Pastor for the
Church of Christ, and so I talked with him all the time, about
theology, the Bible, and anything Christian!So, to sum it up... My
parents were not really religious, but when I became a teen I became
extremely religious. My grandparents were religious, and they always
took me to Church functions, and all that.So, I stayed extremely
religious all through high school, and then my Freshman and Sophomore
years of college. I had read the bible many times, did the Rosary
daily, you name it!Now if you know about Austin, you will know it is a
very liberal city. Liberals all over! So during my years, I met many
open homosexuals, and all that. In college, I met a very good friend of
mine who told me he was gay.Now this friend of mine (who I will call J)
is the nicest guy I have ever met. He is such a great, loving person.
And, he is gay. And I just asked myself "Why would God send this dude
to hell for being gay!" It just made no sense to think about such a
nice person going to hell.So, I started questioning the ideal of hell.
And then, many more questions popped up. I started readings some
atheist books. I began to look at the skeptical approach to not just
Christianity, but God in general.So, questions filled my head. And I
was worried about all these questions. I could not sleep at night. So,
I just kept thinking about it for about 3 or 4 months.Then, I decided
that theism was not right. I just found that the Bible is a book that
is nothing beyond human comprehension, and was just not satisfied. I
learned about a lot of pagan roots in the 3 abrahamic religions, and
learned a lot of skeptical approaches to different aspects of religion.
I studied other religions during this time.. Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism,
Shinto, Ositris, you name it..And, I just could not believe in a God
anymore. I just realized that God does not exist.For a few months it
depressed me. But, then I became more appreciative of life.. this world
is so amazing, and I am just so glad to be here.. It is great to see
how this world works, without thinking of some "loving God".I just
graduated from college, and I am now a happy atheist. :)To monitor
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